


Birds and the bees

by therickykitty



Series: Riding the Bull [10]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff, He's so clueless, M/M, Poor Desya is such a mess, sex advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2592350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therickykitty/pseuds/therickykitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian found himself in the position to have to explain some uncomfortable things to his Inquisitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birds and the bees

**Author's Note:**

> Just a slight rating upgrade to address the talk they're having in this part. If you like my work or want to drop me a line, visit my tumblr at: rackyroo.tumblr.com

“Teach me how to prepare for sex.”

Dorian Pavus decided he could scratch that off the list of things he honestly wasn’t expecting to be asked by the fair leader of the Keep. He'd gone to the library to research some old maps of ancient religious havens in the Hinterlands, and then found his exquisite Inquisitor standing and shaking like a newborn nug in front of his table. He was sure his stunned face and wide eyes didn’t help matters, as before long the poor thing began to turn the prettiest shade of red and completely refuse to meet the Tevinter mage’s eyes.

"I-I....I just....I want....I want to...w-with Bull..." the elf stuttered. His hands wrung at his side and the other mage could see a noticeable tremble in them. Dorian had to stifle the urge to embrace Desya close; the man's shyness and utter inexperience with sex would have driven him to woo and court the Inquisitor without a second thought, if not for the enormous Qunari that would break him in two for even entertaining that idea.

The Tevinter mage smirked and fiddled with his mustache. His eyes twinkled with mirth as he considered his next move. Though the Inquisitor's heart and affections lay elsewhere, Dorian at least would have a little fun. All harmless, of course.

"My dear Inquisitor, you're asking me specifically about anal sex, correct?" He let out a hearty laugh when elf burst bright red and squawked indignantly. This was going to be too much fun.

"I-I'm not that ignorant! I just....I've read up on it, the mechanics and preparations behind it! I just thought...I mean....you're like me and you're so dashing...I just thought you'd have....been with someone," Desya mumbled and chanced a shy glimpse at him.

"You're intuition is rewarded, my sweet Desya. So, am I to assume you'd like to know about, what, my personal opinion on preparing to bottom for the first time? Offer up your virginity to your dear Qunari?"

Even mentioning the Kossith to the younger Dalish brought a pleasant flush to his dark skin and an utterly entrancing smile that made his face glow. Dorian cursed the older giant in that moment: he had no idea how lucky he was.

Dorian stood up and rummaged through his bag. It was utterly by chance he carried the necessary tool on him Desya would need. He chuckled as he pulled the sack out and winked at the younger man before he gently placed it in his hands. The elf curiously held it and looked it over a few times.

"It's...you gave me a water sack?"

"Oh, it's more than that. If you've read your books, you should know what this is used for." Desya pursed his lips and then instantly squeaked as realization dawned on him. His cheeks reddened before he treated the item in his hands with delicate caution.

Dorian laughed before leaning closer into Desya's space. "Exactly so. Unlike a woman, taking a man to your bed requires a bit more foresight. We, unfortunately, may not always be in the cleanest state, so I suggest taking a warm bath and gingerly cleaning yourself, especially..." he smirked and teasingly reached around to cheekily grab the Inquisitor's buttocks, "...here."

A loud squeak graced his ears. He knew he took it a little too far, but really, could anyone blame him? The Tevinter mage grinned as he slid his hand up to keep it gently against Desya's back. "Sorry, that was inappropriate. But my dear Lavellan, there's a little more to it. Just cleaning around outside isn't enough. That's where the sack comes in. Simply fill it up with warm water, place it slightly inside your entrance, and empty it inside yourself. Do so until any water that comes out is completely clean."

Dorian laughed and gently rubbed his back as Desya flushed and scrunched his face up a bit. "Yes, I know. But you want the night to be pleasurable, correct? It's a necessary evil."

He playfully rustled the man's hair and smirked at the adorable growl he was met with. The elf sighed as he held the sack against his chest and fixed the mage with his huge emerald eyes. Without warning he leaned in and gave the older mage a hug, heaving a huge sigh. Dorian stilled before returning it and placing a friendly, chaste kiss into the man's silver hair.

"You'll be fine, Desya. An act like this is special, and it's about communication. Always know you can tell your lover when something doesn't feel right, and remember this is about making you both feel good," Dorian mused before gently pushing the Dalish man an arm's width from him. "Now go on now. You have quite the evening to get ready for."

The younger mage shyly smiled and turned to go, keeping the sack held tightly to his chest as he made his way out of the library. Dorian couldn't help himself and yelled loud enough to carry across the room and down the hall, "USE PLENTY OF LUBRICATION!"

A peal of laughter greeted his ears - possibly Sera and Varric - as well as a loud groan and an undignified screech of, "Creators, DORIAN!" He smiled to himself before he settled back down to his dusty maps and mistreated books. A loud sigh escaped him before he could help himself; a relationship that wouldn't be, but something he'd always wondered about kept pestering his mottled brain. Well, on to other opportunities.

He wondered briefly about a certain former Templar and the possibilities that lay there. As a plan formulated, a wide and mischievous grin threatened to split his face. If anyone saw him, they'd say it looked downright predatory.


End file.
